Today I attended my first yoga class since Covid arrived on the scene. It’s been a full two and a half years since I last stepped in a studio in February of 2020. This is not to say I haven’t taken yoga classes in all this time. In fact, I have been very consistent with my online, at-home yoga practice. So I was somewhat surprised to find out that I am out practice attending in-person yoga classes—as in, I’m woefully out of practice.
I got my first clue that I may be out of practice when it came time to leave for class. I began to gather my belongings for this little adventure only to realize that I literally don’t remember how to go to yoga classes anymore. I can’t for the life of me remember which bag I used for my belongings. Or did I just put them in my pockets? That might work if it’s winter and I need a coat. But what about summer (as in now) when I don’t need jacket and, therefore, I have no pockets? And did I carry a water bottle? Or did I put it in a backpack or tote bag? Maybe I just went thirsty. I have no clue.
I finally settled on the practical solution of carrying my yoga mat, water bottle, phone, wallet, and keys in my hands, and I proceeded to the wrong location. Small setback, that’s fine. Lesson for next time. The trouble was that this essentially made me late to class. Not actually late according to the clock but late for any chance of a decent spot. I had a menu of sub-optimal options.
Option #1 is a spot by the door (could be promising), but your mat would stick out the door. We can’t go with that in case anyone else comes in. Besides, your back is to the door and that’s unsettling. You can’t prepare for whoever might come in behind you. So no, this won’t work. Option #2 is smooshed between two people and crammed next to a wall—like the old days, the pre-Covid days. It’s nostalgic, but you can’t actually sweep your arms to the side or your leg up and back, so it’s far from ideal. Last up we have Option #3: asking someone to move their stuff. This girl is taking up three spots with her mat and her bolster and two blocks and three blankets – I mean maybe this was okay when the studio just reopened and there were four people in the room. Now? Stop. But was I about to ask her to move? Of course not, that’s hilarious. That’s a little more human interaction than I bargained for, so I went with Option #2.
After navigating this maze, I thought I could probably settle in. Deep breaths, this is fine. However, I soon realized I didn’t have my water bottle, the one I knew I filled up and then debated how to carry with me. I was fairly certain I left it downstairs by the check-in desk, but not in a cubby or a locker because I’m apparently so out of practice being around people that I just leave my belongings all over the place. Besides, I needed to keep reminding myself every 30 seconds that I hoped it was still there when I left.
Naturally, this was not the only distraction during class because I was surrounded by all these people, and so the games begin. Someone in the other corner is in a bound side angle pose. Should you be doing that? No, not today. I’m staying within myself, thanks. Then one person decides today is the day they want to stretch. The instructor has the class in a kneeling hamstring stretch, and this chick does the splits. You’re flexible, you can do that. Sure, I’ve got this. But wait, the instructor apparently plans to hold this pose for minutes. This was a mistake, but you can’t get out of it now. Then everyone would know you went too far. Damn it, flexy chick got to me.
Before this class, I had thought I was over all these games; I had matured beyond them. Can’t you tell how enlightened I am? But no, I was just temporarily exempt while I was at home by myself for two years. Now I need to build up my be-in-the-present-moment skills all over again.
Eventually, we made it to savasana, our final resting pose. I was relieved to close my eyes until I realized that if I twitched I would probably kick that girl with all the props in the head. I started wondering, how long have we been here? How much longer will we stay here? How did I ever lay here this long? See, this is why we should have chosen Option #1, the spot sticking out the door. Then I could have silently slipped away. At long last, we sat up, class ended, and I went downstairs to recover my abandoned water bottle.
And so with that, I guess I’ll see y’all again next week.
It is so refreshing to learn that someone else goes through all these thoughts when going to a yoga class. Thoroughly enjoyed this!
Thank you! Love hearing this 🙂
So funny… and so true to what everyone is thinking and feeling these days!!!
Thank you! I definitely got a kick out of the experience and had to share!