If you’re interested in my thoughts on what contributes to what I’ve termed the Wellness Dilemma, please check out my previous post – The Wellness Dilemma Part I: The Dilemma. There I discuss how wellness culture starts with good intentions but creates a pressure-filled environment where we inevitably feel we have failed.
But I would never want to leave it at that, so here we’re going to focus on the fix! We don’t want to abandon all intentions to be well, but we do need strategies to get what we can from wellness while avoiding the burden of overwhelm.
Reconnect with your motivation. Then take what works for you and leave the rest.
Ask yourself why you are interested in a particular habit or goal. Is it something you genuinely want for yourself? Or is it something you think you should want? If it’s the latter, scrap it. If you’re still having trouble letting it go, see if you can find a deeper motivation that resonates with you more.
For example, let’s say you want to run. You see beautiful pictures of your friends and fitness models running on beaches and looking thrilled with the experience. Your friends love it and wax rhapsodic to you on the regular about their runner’s high. And you try. You truly do. But frankly, you still believe the whole concept of a runner’s high must be a myth. Then you don’t need to run. There are so many other ways to exercise that there’s no reason for you to spend so much time doing something you don’t enjoy! But let’s say you bought new running shoes and you’re not ready to let it go yet. Or maybe you signed up for a half marathon you had no business signing up for, and you want to see it through. See if you can find some part of it you do like. Maybe it’s coming up with playlists or looking for critters or flowers along the trail. Find a reason you like to run. But remember that life is beautifully diverse. We don’t all have to like all the same things.
Prioritize.
Of all the possible wellness options, which do you care about the most? Focus on those. Pick your favorite two or three habits. You don’t need to tackle a list of 30 tasks (or even 5) to make a difference for your health each day. My top two priorities are meditation and physical activity. I put no restrictions on this physical activity. It could be anything from a walk to yoga to a group fitness class, but movement makes the biggest difference in my day. If I have a busy day and have to choose between exercise and cooking a fresh dinner, I’m going to choose the exercise. If that means I eat some processed food, so be it. The exercise means more to me. Maybe it’s the opposite for you. The important thing is that you know what will make the biggest difference for your health and happiness. Invest your time there.
This also goes for forming new habits. Work on one or two at a time. While there are people who can wake up one morning and change their entire lifestyle, most of us are not that way. If you focus on developing only one or two healthy habits at a time, it might feel a bit like you’re neglecting all the other aspects of your life that need to be improved too. That’s actually okay. If you try to change everything at once, you’ll most likely end up overwhelmed. When that happens, it’s easy to give up and make no progress at all. If you focus on one habit, you have a better chance of success. Then you can take pride in that success and build momentum. Over time, this approach will make a more substantial difference in your life than attempting too much at once.
Simplify.
On the note of forming habits, make it as easy as possible to follow through. Pick a gym that’s convenient. Meditate on your commute (assuming you aren’t driving the car…) Put your gratitude journal next to your bed, so you see it at the end of the night. Fill a glass of water the night before, so it’s the first thing you drink in the morning. Lastly, you don’t need anything fancy or expensive to be healthy. People used to exercise in old t-shirts. Some of us still do. You don’t need to have a wardrobe of beautiful exercise gear or a membership at a spin studio to take care of yourself.
Dig deeper into your emotions.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed, sad, or angry, it’s worth stopping to ask yourself why. Remember that we often turn to these wellness or self-care habits to make us “happy” when times are tough. Then, somehow, we’re disappointed when the underlying problem is still there. To be clear, I absolutely believe taking care of yourself supports your emotional well-being. But if you are struggling with a deeper issue (a challenging or unhealthy relationship, lack of career direction, depression, generally feeling lost), self-care might only be the first step. Maybe you can do some of this work yourself. If you’re stressed about an upcoming project, work on it! If career anxiety is plaguing you, update your resume and start researching your next steps. This will go much further toward alleviating your anxiety. However, there’s also the possibility that a professional could better help you navigate and resolve what’s truly bothering you.
The Wellness List
This is a simple idea to ease the pressure to do 10,000 healthy habits in one day. Make a list of all the habits/hobbies that interest you. Then pick one a day. See here for my full list and more details.
